Author Jeannie Lin, a master of writing Deep POV, has given me permission to quote from her 2009 Golden Heart winner Butterfly Swords, published by Harlequin Historicals in 2010. Lin writes about a heroine who loses a wager and must kiss the hero because she lost.
Every muscle within her pulled tight, poised on a knife's edge of anticipation as she stared at his mouth. He had planned this. His eyes flickered with amusement, reflecting sunlight and shade. The rough beard on his chin gave him a wild, dangerous look. Stiffly, she lifted herself onto her toes, bracing a hand against his shoulders. He was steel beneath her grasp.
The author didn't have to write about his muscles of steel. We feel them at the same time she does.
Here's another quote from Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin:
She closed her eyes. It was the only way she would have the courage to do this. Still he waited. It would be a brief meeting of lips. Nothing to be afraid of. If only her heart would remember to keep beating. Holding her breath, she let her lips brush over his. It was the first time she'd ever kissed a man and her mind raced with it. She hardly had a sense of his mouth at all, though the shock of the single touch rushed like liquid fire to her toes.
I've put Lin's passage in italics to avoid adding quotations marks around the quoted passages. She writes deep POV so flawlessly she does not need to italicize her internal dialogue. The reader has no doubt that Nothing to be afraid of is the heroine's attempt to bolster her courage.
Here's more of Jeannie Lin's first kiss scene from Butterfly Swords:
He still hadn't moved, even though her knees threatened to crumble and her heart beat like a thunder drum. Finally he responded with the barest hint of pressure. The warmth of his breath mingled with hers. Without thinking, she let her fingers dig into the sleek muscle of his arms. A low, husky sound rumbled in his throat before he wrapped his arms around her.
Heaven and earth. (The author does italicize this thought.) She hadn't been kissing him at all. The ribbon of resistance uncoiled within her as she took control of the kiss. His stubble scraped against her mouth, raking a raw path of sensation through her. She could do nothing but melt against him, clutching the front of his tunic to stay on her feet.
Whew! That's superb writing.
Use deep POV for scenes where emotions run rampant, or where tension is high. Deep POV can be tiring to the reader when used constantly, but for love scenes, fight scenes, any scene where emotions run high, go into the POV character's head.
Let us see what he/she sees, and feel what he/she feels. Suzanne Brockman, JR Ward and Jennifer Cruise are just a few of the writers who are experts at writing deep POV.
Still have questions? Sign up for Virginia's Kantra's excellent class offered by WritersU,
I've Got You Under My Skin: Writing Deep POV.
Every muscle within her pulled tight, poised on a knife's edge of anticipation as she stared at his mouth. He had planned this. His eyes flickered with amusement, reflecting sunlight and shade. The rough beard on his chin gave him a wild, dangerous look. Stiffly, she lifted herself onto her toes, bracing a hand against his shoulders. He was steel beneath her grasp.
The author didn't have to write about his muscles of steel. We feel them at the same time she does.
Here's another quote from Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin:
She closed her eyes. It was the only way she would have the courage to do this. Still he waited. It would be a brief meeting of lips. Nothing to be afraid of. If only her heart would remember to keep beating. Holding her breath, she let her lips brush over his. It was the first time she'd ever kissed a man and her mind raced with it. She hardly had a sense of his mouth at all, though the shock of the single touch rushed like liquid fire to her toes.
I've put Lin's passage in italics to avoid adding quotations marks around the quoted passages. She writes deep POV so flawlessly she does not need to italicize her internal dialogue. The reader has no doubt that Nothing to be afraid of is the heroine's attempt to bolster her courage.
Here's more of Jeannie Lin's first kiss scene from Butterfly Swords:
He still hadn't moved, even though her knees threatened to crumble and her heart beat like a thunder drum. Finally he responded with the barest hint of pressure. The warmth of his breath mingled with hers. Without thinking, she let her fingers dig into the sleek muscle of his arms. A low, husky sound rumbled in his throat before he wrapped his arms around her.
Heaven and earth. (The author does italicize this thought.) She hadn't been kissing him at all. The ribbon of resistance uncoiled within her as she took control of the kiss. His stubble scraped against her mouth, raking a raw path of sensation through her. She could do nothing but melt against him, clutching the front of his tunic to stay on her feet.
Whew! That's superb writing.
Use deep POV for scenes where emotions run rampant, or where tension is high. Deep POV can be tiring to the reader when used constantly, but for love scenes, fight scenes, any scene where emotions run high, go into the POV character's head.
Let us see what he/she sees, and feel what he/she feels. Suzanne Brockman, JR Ward and Jennifer Cruise are just a few of the writers who are experts at writing deep POV.
Still have questions? Sign up for Virginia's Kantra's excellent class offered by WritersU,
I've Got You Under My Skin: Writing Deep POV.
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